I was thinking about my skills and abilities other day , and I realized I’m a really fucking great friend and I have a buncha Martha Stewarty skills.
Now, it’s time to monetize!
So, if you’re stressing over the holidays, and you need the support only a bestie can provide, give me a holler and let’s work something out.
I won’t clean your house, but I’ll help you clean your house.
I won’t decorate your house, but I will help you decorate your house.
I can help you make holiday entertaining decisions - what to serve, where folks should sleep, and whether you need an ugly sweater event.
I can be a buffer between you and the family you cannot stand.
Even better, if you give me the ammo, I will go to town and throw shade on the family you can’t stand.
I am an excellent bestie, but this year, I’m not entertaining, and my besties don’t need me - we are all (temporarily) sorted out.
So, if you need someone to help you choose an outfit and makeup for the company Christmas party, strategize how to get someone under the mistletoe, or gift ideas for tricky relationships, I am declaring myself available (at least through the holiday season).